Tips to get out of the DNOTS

Recognize the characteristics of a DNOTS and accept them

Recognize the characteristics, because that way you know what you are going through. And that there is a way out. Accepting that you are now in a DNOTS is a very important tip. Don’t judge yourself, and don’t fight it. it’s part of your whole process.

Acknowledging what you are going through is the first essential step. You are going through so much now, and accept that you feel lost, confused and sad. Acknowledging your feelings and emotions are very important because it allows you to begin to process them.

Take care of yourself

I think self-care is the most underrated when you’re in such a state of soul shock. All you want is to cry, be angry, and lie in bed in a shock. Yet it is very important to take care of yourself right now. Do what relaxes you. Try out what you still enjoy. Distraction is also particularly important. Take a walk in nature. Take a close look at the trees, flowers and birds. Do you like to cook? Perfect, make the food you really like.

What has helped me is to start exercising. I went to the gym every day. It was also a big stick. If I had exercised, I would meditate. I always chose a guided meditation because you can’t think much about it. Find something where you can have that moment for yourself. Take a warm bath with oil or start yoga. Do what feels right for you. you’re worth it.

Seek help and support

Seeking support is really, really important. You need someone who will support you and who understands you. To be honest, I only confided in 1 person. I was a bit afraid that people would think I had lost my mind. Twin flame? I could already see the reactions in front of me: Soul connection? Intense feelings? DNOTS? Oh no. You’re are heartbroken. Take a bowl of ice cream, and everything will be good tomorrow.

And also this one: I also thought my husband was a soul mate, but actually we are very different. But look, we’re still married. It wasn’t your one.” I just knew these comments could be true. So I was looking for support, but I could only trust 1 person with this. And that was my mother, since she is very spiritual herself. And I also looked for recognition on the internet. On various forums, where I fully recognized myself in the stories of others, so that I did not feel alone. Maybe you are looking for psychological help from someone. Everything is fine, as long as you don’t just walk around with your worries.

Self-reflection. Look in the mirror

The time has come to start processing your thoughts and feelings.
There are several ways to do this. I myself found, especially in the beginning, healing to walk in nature. There I found peace and I caught myself smiling there and even enjoying the sun shining through the trees.

A diary can also have a healing effect. You calmly write down all your feelings and thoughts. For many people it is nice because you can express yourself without holding back. The only one who knows about your intense emotions are the pages of your journal.

Meditation can also be great. It helps you get into a state of calm, in these times of turmoil. Try to perceive your thoughts and emotions without judgment. A guided meditation can be very pleasant at first.

Move mindfully

Moving in attention is another way to engage with your body. Your brain is often very present and you want to turn down the volume knob a bit. This can be done very well with moving in attention.

Exercises that you perform in yoga, tai chi or qigong, for example, help you to reconnect with your body. You release tension and practice mental clarity. They are calm movements in combination with mindfulness, which allows you to become and stay present and grounded.