Dark Night of the Soul: What Is Happening to Me?
Why am I feeling so lost, so sad, so alone—and why is this pain so intense?
For the past week, I’ve felt completely confused. It all started with a fight between me and my online “lover”. At the time, I didn’t know he was my twin flame. But both of us felt something incredibly special. We had never experienced such a strong connection and such deep attraction before. It felt magnetic, like something greater than us was pulling us toward each other. And every day, that magnetic pull grew stronger. So did the connection between us.
But then the conflict began.
I started to feel insecure. I was falling for him deeply, wanting to leave my boyfriend and be with him instead. At the same time, he began to feel overwhelmed by guilt—guilt because he has a wife and child, and yet he was losing himself in me, in our shared dream world. The emotions between us became too much. And since our entire connection existed online, we had never met in person, the intensity of our feelings had nowhere to go but into words.
Eventually, it exploded into an argument. A painful one. Then, out of nowhere, he told me he didn’t feel anything for me anymore. He completely shut down, closed himself off from me and his feelings—just like that. It was unexpected. Sudden. My whole world collapsed in a single moment. My heart shattered into what felt like a hundred thousand pieces. The pain was unbearable, like my soul itself was splitting in two.
Dark night of the soul: what is happening to me?
The Pain After Goodbye. Doubt took hold of me like a storm, and suddenly I was fighting with myself. An inner war between my heart and my mind.
How could I have let this happen? How could I have lost myself in this man so completely?
My feelings for him were so intense, too intense.
I should have been mourning the struggles in my own relationship. I should have been doing everything I could to fix it. But instead, all I could do was cry. The tears kept coming, wave after wave. I felt helpless. My heart was breaking, and it was as if my soul was being torn in two.
Then came his message.
“I’m so sorry this has to end like this. But I don’t feel anything for you anymore. I can’t fake my feelings, we’ve always been honest with each other. I wish you the best. Goodbye.”
I kept reading those words over and over again in the app.
Some part of me thought: Maybe I didn’t understand it right.
Maybe if I read it one more time, I’d find something I missed. A sign. A loophole. Something. I was angry. Angry at him. Angry at myself.
Did I push too hard? Was I too much? Too emotional?
If only I had held back…
If only I had kept my feelings to myself, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe he wouldn’t have shut me out.
And then came the pain again. That deep, soul-shaking pain.
The loss. The emptiness. The despair that wouldn’t let go.
Dark night of the soul; Really?
All I could do was read.
I’ve always been someone who wants to understand things. I don’t just accept pain without trying to figure out where it’s coming from. But this grief was so intense, too much for my mind to make sense of. It felt like my heart and soul had been torn in two. I needed answers.
So I started searching online. I typed in my symptoms, my emotions… and again and again, I ended up reading about twin flames.
My ego instantly rejected it. Twin flames? Really? That sounds ridiculous.
But no matter how I tried to look elsewhere, I kept coming back to it.
The fact that you feel so deeply means you’re alive. And that your heart, no matter how broken it feels, is still beating.
What I found was overwhelming, maybe even too much. But also strangely familiar.
The magnetic pull. The instant connection. The deep longing. The way it felt like we had known each other forever.
And then the pain of separation. Stories where one twin runs and the other is left behind, confused and broken.
Then I found the term dark night of the soul, DNOTS.
And as I read, something clicked. It was like reading my own heart.
It was exactly what I was going through, and it felt like someone had put my pain into words.
DNOTS, Dark night of the soul
What are the symptoms
- 1. Emotional turmoil
Sometimes emotional turmoil takes over so much that peace feels impossible. You try to distract yourself, with work, scrolling, or being around others, but nothing truly helps. The restlessness is deep, in your body and your breath, every moment of the day.
Maybe you recognize this: the only relief comes from small moments. For me, it was morning exercise and long walks in nature. Only then could I breathe and feel a little calm. With intense connections, love or/and a twin flame connection, can feel like a roller coaster, exciting and overwhelming. But when it shifts, it can feel like falling into a whirlpool of sadness, pain, anger, and despair. Like the ground is collapsing beneath you.
If you feel this way, know you’re not alone or crazy. This intensity is real and you can get through it. Give yourself permission to rest and find small moments to come back to yourself. You don’t have to understand it all now. Feeling deeply means you’re alive, and your heart, even if broken, is still beating.
DNOTS, Dark night of the soul
- 2. Disconnection and disinterest
Many people experience a profound sense of disconnection, from themselves, from others, and from life in general. Things that once brought comfort, joy, or purpose suddenly feel meaningless. You may feel emotionally numb, spiritually empty, or even alienated from your own identity.
This isn’t because you’ve done something wrong. It’s because a part of your old self is breaking down. You no longer feel connected to who you are.
As if something inside you has gone quiet.
As if you’ve been swept into a storm so intense, you’ve lost sight of the ground beneath you. Spinning in circles. Exhausted from the emotional force of it all.
You might not feel much love for yourself, or for your current partner. You’re not sure what you feel anymore. You only know what you miss, and who. The pain of losing your twin flame, may feel deeper than anythong else in your life. You long for that soul connection. That spark they lit inside you. You just want to be with them.
And in the space they left behind, you feel restless. Empty.
3. Vivid dreams or nightmares
During the Dark Night of the Soul, vivid dreams or nightmares are common. It’s the mind’s way of processing deep emotional and spiritual shifts. I usually remember my dreams clearly. I even enjoy how strange or surreal they can be, something to laugh about the next day. But during my twin flame separation, everything changed.
I read that many people dream of their twin flame during this phase. That their twin visits them in dreams to guide or comfort them. I longed for that. Instead, I had nightmares every night.
I couldn’t remember them, but I woke up multiple times, overwhelmed and restless,. It felt like my soul was battling something I couldn’t see.
You might experience this too, restless nights. Dreams that leave you shaken, or even complete dream silence. Know that this, too, is part of your soul’s healing. Be gentle with yourself. Your subconscious is working through more than you can see.
4. Sensitivity
A Different Kind of Darkness
During the Dark Night of the Soul, your sensitivity may increase.
Suddenly, everything around you feels louder, heavier. People’s emotions, sounds, even the energy of certain places. It can become overwhelming.
You may feel the need to withdraw, to be alone, not out of sadness, but because solitude feels like the only place where truth might live.
It can look like depression from the outside. But it’s not.
I’ve been through depression before, and this is something else entirely.
This feels deeper. Quieter. Like something is shifting at the level of the soul. I once read someone describe it as a “spiritual depression.”
And I thought—yes. That’s exactly what it is. Not a breakdown, but a breakthrough in disguise.
If you’re feeling this way, you’re not broken. You’re simply being pulled inward. Something within you is asking to be seen.
5. Synchronicities
Right before I met my twin flame, I kept seeing the numbers 111 and 1111 everywhere.
During those magical months in the bubble phase with my twin flame, these numbers almost disappeared.
Since the very first day of our separation, I see these numbers every single day.
Synchronicities show up differently for everyone, but number patterns like these are one of the most common signs shared by those on a twin flame journey. There can be many other synchronicities as well.
Like regularly seeing your twin flame’s name, or hearing songs on the radio that seem to answer the questions running through your mind.
Other numbers might appear, or you might notice small signs and symbols that feel meaningful to you.
They often remind us to have faith in the path we’re walking, that we are supported, and that we are never truly alone. These synchronicities can feel like gentle reminders that you’re connected, even when you’re apart.
6. Your own shadow
When you’re on this journey, you gain deep insight into your own shadows.
There’s no way around it, you have to face them. You can’t run, and there’s nothing else you can do. The separation from your twin flame is so painful, not just because you miss them, but because it forces you to confront your deepest fears, insecurities, and old wounds.
That’s why it’s called the Dark Night of the Soul, because it shines a light on the shadows you’ve been avoiding. Your conscious mind may resist this, but healing these wounds is the only way forward. It’s hard and heavy work, but it’s necessary.
Remember this: no matter how dark or difficult it feels, you are never alone, and you can get through it.
Facing your shadows is part of your healing
7. Ego transformation
When you’re separated from your twin flame, something powerful is happening inside you; a deep transformation of your ego. With time, you’ll start to see that it’s not always easy, but it’s a beautiful process. A process where you start to release the old version of yourself, the one tied to fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs.
Your twin flame has sparked a light inside you, awakening you to your true purpose and the lessons your soul came here to learn. As you let go of your ego’s grip, you might feel called to change your life in big ways. Things that once felt important may no longer fit. You might break free from old patterns and start living in a way that truly feels right.
Your soul’s awakening unfolds on this journey, revealing healing that’s both profound and beautiful.
You’ll discover you’re not your thoughts or worries, you are so much more. Your heart will become your compass, gently guiding you to what truly makes you happy and fulfilled. For some, this means ending relationships, leaving jobs, or even moving to new places. For others, it’s a quiet shift in how they see themselves and the world.
This transformation can be scary, there might be resistance and doubt. But keep coming back to your heart. It knows the way. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be, growing, healing, and becoming your most authentic self. This journey is your soul’s awakening, and it’s a beautiful, powerful healing in disguise.
Dark night of the soul: DNOTS
This is an emotionally intense time, so be kind and patient with yourself. You’re like a butterfly still in its cocoon, slowly healing and preparing to fly free, fee from shadows and filled with love. I often ask myself, Why is this happening? I believe I’ll find the answer as I continue to grow.
Even though this journey is hard, I wouldn’t trade meeting my twin flame for anything. Despite the pain and anger, my love for him runs deep, and I’m grateful for the energetic connection we share. I’ve grown so much through this process. I’ve become aware of old patterns and am now learning healthier ways to love and live.
The Dark Night of the Soul is about learning to fall and get back up during your twin flame journey. Healing yourself is important, but so is surrendering and trusting. Believe that everything meant for you will come to you in its own time. Right now, focus on yourself and let your soul unfold from within
Love yourself times 1000
I want to wish you strength, light, and love on your path. Remember, you will never face anything in life that you can’t handle.As hard as it may be, try to find gratitude somewhere deep within, you’ve been given this chance:
The chance to heal your wounds and your pain.
To start listening to your heart and feel lighter. To grow love for yourself. Because, in the end, that’s what it’s really all about. The love you feel for your twin flame, may you learn to feel that same love for yourself. Times 1000. ❤️
