Twin Flame or Trauma Bond? My Spiritual Awakening through love and loss. When I met him, I didn’t even know what a twin flame was.
I wasn’t thinking about it at all; I was focused on learning Spanish through a language app. He is Spanish and I wanted to practice. And yet, something happened that I couldn’t explain.
From the very first conversation, there was a connection that words cannot describe. It felt as if we had known each other for years and years. As if he could understand me without me saying anything.
He felt familiar. Safe. As if he could see right through me, even though we had only been talking for a few weeks.
It quickly went beyond language. We talked about dreams, fears and life itself.
In a short time, we became inseparable online. Every few hours, a message: “How are you?”
It felt like coming home, but in a whirlwind of emotions. It was both exhilarating and overwhelming, confusing yet magnetic.
Twin Flame or Trauma Bond? My Spiritual Awakening
We were both highly sensitive. That made everything even more intense.
When you are highly sensitive, you feel not just with your heart but with your whole being.
A soul connection between two HSPs feels like an ocean. Every word, every silence, every vibration is deeply felt. Yet, there was also reality. He was married and I was in a committed relationship.
And then, suddenly, the moment came when he began to pull away. At first subtly, then more clearly.
I felt it happening before he said anything. My heart knew, but my mind didn’t want to accept it.
The silence between us grew heavier, and somehow, I panicked. It wasn’t just sadness. It was a deep fear. As if my soul cried out: No, don’t go. You belong with me.
I didn’t recognize myself anymore. And I felt dependent on his attention, as if I couldn’t breathe without him. I thought it was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. It was a battle inside me, between my ego and my heart.
I kept sending messages. At first gentle, then desperate. Until the moment he wrote that it was over.
That he didn’t want any contact.
Dare to experience that you have always been home. Deep within yourself. Even if old pain kept the door closed for a long time.
Dark Night of the Soul
I read his words, and it felt like the ground disappeared beneath my feet.
The man who once said, “It feels like my soul belongs to yours,” was now cold and distant.
I didn’t recognize him anymore. It was as if he had retreated into his mind and closed his heart. That moment marked the beginning of my dark night of the soul.
A period when everything I thought I knew seemed to fall apart.
The dark night of the soul does not feel like ordinary grief. It is as if a storm rages inside you. Everything familiar slowly crumbles. Your old self is shaken, old certainties slipping like sand through your fingers. You don’t know who you are anymore, and yet somewhere deep inside, a vibration of something new wants to awaken. During that time, all I could do was cry.
I doubted myself, my mind, my reason. How could I feel so deeply, cry so intensely, for someone I had only just met? My head tried to understand, to explain everything. But my heart and soul already knew. I felt everything with an open and wounded heart. It showed me how real connection could be.
It was as if every fiber of my being was trembling, uncertain. Doubting love, myself, and life. Everything seemed to waver and stand still at once.
Spiritual Awakening
And in that dark period, light began to seep in. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, something shifted.
A softer energy came to me. Warm and bright, like sunlight breaking through a cloud.
It was a healing, gentle energy. I felt a sense of calm, and something new wanted to grow in the silence. I started noticing signs. Synchronicities, dreams, intuitive nudges.
My spiritual awakening had begun.
My intuition strengthened, my connection to my Guides grew clearer.
Through my angel cards, I received beautiful messages: “Keep believing. Everything happens for a reason. The old must die to make way for what is new.”
My spiritual gifts began to develop, for which I am deeply grateful. It felt as if I was beginning to remember that I was truly allowed to be myself.
Is it a Trauma Bond?
There were moments I thought: maybe this is just a trauma bond.
I had heard the term before, read about it, thought about it. But what I felt was different.
Through the pain of my twin flame’s departure, I naturally turned inward. Maybe you know this feeling: everything falls quiet inside, and you feel something old and vulnerable being touched.
Why does it hurt so much? What wants to be seen?
Slowly, I discovered wounds inside me that I thought I had already healed. Yet they quietly persisted. Wounds of being abandoned as a child. Moments when my emotions were unseen or unacknowledged. Wounds from being bullied. That pain was real. And yet, it also felt like an invitation. To truly heal. To feel what had long been buried. And to embrace myself in my vulnerability.
Trapped in Hope and Longing
A trauma bond is a connection born of pain. A kind of addiction to someone who alternates between love and distance. You get trapped in hope, longing and repetition.
But what I felt with him was different. It was intense, yes, and painful. But in hindsight, it made me softer and more aware of myself. It showed me that I could feel, acknowledge and heal my own wounds.
Honestly, at first, I really thought I was experiencing some unhealthy trauma bond. The panic when he pulled away. The inability to let him go. Everything in me was focused on his attention.
I felt dependent and truly wondered: maybe this is what a trauma bond is.
His departure broke me open, but in that, I learned to truly feel myself. In the pain, I discovered my own heart and strength. Slowly, love for myself began to grow.
Twin Flame or Trauma Bond
But as I went through my dark night of the soul, I began to realize something.
If this were a trauma bond, I would want to escape it as quickly as possible. Then I read an article about twin flames for the first time. And my heart skipped a beat. Everything, really everything, resonated.
To be sure, I read a lot about both trauma bonds and twin flames. The more I read, the more I felt that my experience did not fit a regular trauma bond.
Slowly, I realized, what I felt aligned more and more with a twin flame. A subtle recognition that resonated deep within.
But my ego wanted to explain everything. It craved reasons, logic, certainty. That is the job of the ego. But I felt my heart knew exactly what was true.
I had to truly learn not to listen so much to my ego, because it only made me unhappy. Whereas every time I listened to my heart, I felt something different, a gentle strength and an inner certainty.
The Mirror
And precisely by listening to my heart, I was brought to my shadows. To everything I still needed to face, but now on a deeper level.
My fear of abandonment, my feeling of never being truly seen, became painfully visible.
The silence of my twin flame was a mirror reflecting my own wounds.
There was nothing else to do but feel and heal.
A trauma bond is fundamentally different. It traps you in dependency, longing, and repetition.
What I experienced, however, liberated me. His presence brought love; his departure brought healing.
It forced me to return to myself, to embrace my own sensitivity and vulnerability.
Twin Flame or Trauma Bond
That was the moment I knew: this was not a trauma bond.
This was a twin flame experience. Intensely profound, raw, and truly meant to awaken me.
He was my mirror, my catalyst to awaken me. To confront my deepest fears. My fear of abandonment. My sense of never being truly seen.
And by feeling it all, by allowing that vulnerability, I slowly began to see myself. Not as the child who had only survived. But as the woman who could heal softly, love, and embrace herself fully. His presence, and especially his departure, everything I experienced, allowed me to grow. Toward more light, more trust. Back to myself.
A Journey of Growth
Not all twin flames experience contact this intensely.
Some feel a gentle recognition, without storms.
I experienced the extreme version, the form that breaks everything open.
The connection with him guided me through the deepest pain but also to the most beautiful healing.
Now I know: love between twin flames is not a romantic fairytale.
It is a journey inward. And sometimes that journey means letting go of each other, so that each can grow separately. True soul connection is rare and a reminder of who you truly are.
Twin Flame or Trauma
Lovingly and carefully updated on: 07/11/2025
